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When Daughters become Mothers – The Attachment Story Behind the Pram
ByJo OxleyWhen Daughters Become Mothers: The Attachment Story Behind the Pram When a daughter becomes a mother, it isn’t just a change in role, it’s a seismic shift in the heart, the mind, and often the sense of self. It’s a chapter where the past, present, and future meet in the smallest of bundles. Recently, I…
There’s No Such Thing as Naughty: Attachment and the Misunderstood Child
ByJo OxleyRecently, I’ve been watching my little angel, aka sausage, my two-year-old granddaughter, navigate the enormous transition of becoming a big sister. It’s been a front-row seat to the sibling dance: the tug-of-war between love and curiosity, excitement and jealousy, all wrapped in a tiny body with even tinier words to express it. There have been…
When the Inner Child Hijacks the Session
ByJo Oxley(And How Not to Panic) There are moments in therapy when something shifts suddenly. A client who was reflective becomes overwhelmed. Tears escalate quickly.Words disappear.The room feels tighter, louder, more urgent. And inside the therapist, a familiar response can arise: I’ve lost them.This is too much.I need to do something – now. This is often…
When Clients Fear Calm More Than Chaos
ByJo Oxley(Why Safety Can Feel Like a Threat) There’s a moment in therapy that can quietly unsettle even experienced counsellors. The work has been steady.The client feels more regulated.Sessions are calmer.There’s less crisis, less urgency. And then – something shifts. The client becomes anxious again.They create conflict.They miss a session.They suddenly question the therapy itself. It…
Isn’t attachment just about relationships?
ByJo OxleyAttachment isn’t just about relationships—it shapes how we regulate stress and emotions. This article explores how early relational experiences wire our nervous system and why co-regulation in therapy is key to healing affect dysregulation
What We Miss When We Stay in the Here and Now
ByJo Oxley(Why Developmental Thinking Changes Everything) There’s a quiet assumption woven into much therapeutic work:that if we stay present-focused enough, insight and change will follow. For many clients, this is true. But for others – often those with early relational trauma – something essential gets missed when therapy remains anchored only in the present. These are…
