“The way we were treated as small children is the way we treat ourselves the rest of our lives, and we often impose our most agonising suffering upon ourselves.” — Alice Miller (1987, p.133)

It’s a common phrase in therapy—but it’s not the truth. Stress responses aren’t fixed traits. They’re learned patterns shaped by early attachment—and they can be rewired through relational healing

By a therapist with a soft spot for attachment theory and a healthy scepticism about January makeovers Every January we are invited—no, instructed—to reinvent ourselves. New bodies. New habits. New lives. It’s a seductive promise, usually delivered alongside a discounted gym membership and a faint sense of personal failure. But from an attachment perspective, most…

Gordon Neufeld’s beautiful words offer a simple but profound truth about human development: “To foster independence we must first invite dependence… We liberate children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it.” Most parents instinctively feel the wisdom in this, even if the world around them sometimes encourages…

I didn’t wake up one morning and decide to run attachment training programmes for therapists. There was no grand plan, no five-year strategy, no sudden urge to create courses and qualifications. What there was, however, was a growing awareness – one that emerged slowly, quietly, and persistently -from sitting with people. At that time, my…

Attachment-Based Therapy Isn’t “Too Abstract”—Here’s How Neuroscience Makes It Practical  If you’ve ever dismissed attachment-based therapy as too abstract or “theoretical,” you’re not alone. It’s easy to feel that way when terms like secure attachment, internal working models, or attachment styles are thrown around in ways that sound more academic than actionable. But here’s the…