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New Year Resolutions – Old Patterns: The Challenge of Change Through an Attachment Lens
By a therapist with a soft spot for attachment theory and a healthy scepticism about January makeovers Every January we are invited—no, instructed—to reinvent ourselves. New bodies. New habits. New lives. It’s a seductive promise, usually delivered alongside a discounted gym membership and a faint sense of personal failure. But from an attachment perspective, most…
When Clients Say “I Don’t Know”
(And Why That’s Not Resistance) There are few phrases that can quietly derail a therapy session like this one: “I don’t know.” And often, something happens inside the therapist. We might feel momentarily stuck.We might try another angle.We might gently probe, rephrase, offer options. Or – if we’re honest – we might wonder whether the…
From Fear to Compassion: Working with BPD Through an Attachment Lens
Borderline Personality Disorder is often met with fear in clinical spaces—but through the lens of attachment theory, we see not manipulation, but survival. This piece reframes BPD with compassion and grounded therapeutic insight
Titration, Not Catharsis
(Why Going Slowly Is Often the Most Powerful Intervention) There’s a quiet pressure many counsellors feel – even if they don’t name it. That therapy should go somewhere.That something should happen.That emotional release equals progress. And when clients carry trauma, there can be an added, unspoken belief:If we don’t access the pain fully, are we…
When Clients Fear Calm More Than Chaos
(Why Safety Can Feel Like a Threat) There’s a moment in therapy that can quietly unsettle even experienced counsellors. The work has been steady.The client feels more regulated.Sessions are calmer.There’s less crisis, less urgency. And then – something shifts. The client becomes anxious again.They create conflict.They miss a session.They suddenly question the therapy itself. It…
Beyond Bowlby: The Roots of Attachment Theory
Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain Bowlby’s brilliance lay not only in his observations but in his ability to weave ideas from multiple disciplines into a coherent model of human connection. For clinicians, understanding these influences can provide richer insight into why early relationships are so foundational.Neuroscience: Bowlby’s Ideas Meet the Modern Brain While…
